Death of a Relationship
Tell me that I need to go to the gym. Tell me I need to do more around the apartment. Make me change my thoughts. Make me change my face. Make me change my body. Make me change my hobbies. Make me change my hair. Make me change my spending habits. Making me change my feelings. Make me change my friends. Make me change my interests. Make me change my career. Make me change everything…
Good luck.
I will not change for you. You will never be worth another moment in my life. Blinded by your deceit, your love was an illusion. A withering rose among millions…who could spot that? I am not good enough…for you. For someone, I will be his everything. Not a robot molded into a desirable girlfriend. You tried painting on a canvas already filled, and your failure led to our demise. Pictures ripped. Memories erased. Plans destroyed. Love terminated. Laughter silenced. Eyes closed. Tears dried. Back turned.
I gave, you took. I gave more, you took more. I gave everything, you took everything.
Goodbye.
Tough post – I hope all is well with you.
Wow, well said! I too have went through something like this – except I married him. I always saw him as a good person as he was loyal to me and respected me in the sense of never cheating, BUT he would constantly criticize me in small ways. Every positive I found he found the negative. He did this with my then 4 year old daughter too. If I gained weight it was mentioned, if I was sitting on the couch for a few minutes and things needed to be done – it was mentioned. If I started a project like stenciling a room it needed to be completed by me alone no matter what else was going on- having a newborn that I was breastfeeding didn’t change it. If I needed assistance it was because I was too lazy to do it on my own. Everything was good according to him when things were “flowing as they should and all was in order.” Yes, his order. I gave up friends, my personality, my dreams, my creativity, my enthusiasm – everything. I always thought I was not good enough. I was never truly in love with him, but stayed because my self esteem was low and he never helped me bring it up. He only took away from it. He made me feel dependent as I was very independent when I met him. I lost my self confidence. He was good looking and could be up a good facade. I met someone one day – that somehow broke through my ice wall barriers and stirred all my emotions and brought them to the surface just in a passing conversation.
Believe that! I have never been the same again. I woke up and realized I had become a shell of a person. I asked for a divorce as this has been going on for 15 years and I had asked for him to stop being so critical and negative to no avail.
Now that I want the divorce he suddenly says he is a changed man. He seems to mirror everything I do now. He likes astrology, reading and even tried to mimic my liking for the “small things in life” as he now says he likes the “finer things in life.”
Well that is quite a contradiction and so is he… I don’t think I can trust him to have really changed. Do you?
It seems to take a lot for someone to really change, but most people don’t seem to make permanent changes. I know that you will make the decision that is best for you. I wish you the best and am proud that you were able to stand up and be strong.